This week, I have been reflecting on giving and receiving feedback. I regard myself as someone who gets embarrassed when receiving positive feedback but who appreciates constructive negative feedback. I am constantly learning, and I understand that mistakes and feedback are essential parts of my journey. I feel thankful for all the colleagues I have had in the past who gave me constructive feedback that helped my practice as an educator move to the next level. However, I am aware that every person reacts differently when receiving feedback, especially when it is corrective or not so positive. Some school leaders find giving feedback to be one of the toughest parts of their jobs. ‘Fierce Conversations’ is a book that I would recommend to anyone interested in this topic. One of the basic rules of negative feedback is that when it needs to be delivered, it should be done privately. People don’t like being ‘told off’ in front of others. These thoughts led me to my next question: Why are we so careful when giving feedback to adults, but we don’t follow the same rules when giving feedback to children?
I wanted to reflect more in-depth on this and explore the differences in how we give feedback to children and adults and the reasons for these differences. Are we being hypocritical? Should we give feedback to children in the same way we would to adults? Is it important to consider children’s emotions when giving them feedback? How effective is feedback depending on whether we follow these ‘basic rules’ or not?
Should we give feedback to children in the same way we would to adults?
When we talk to children about how they’re doing, we need to think about how old they are, how they feel, and what they understand. Even though there are some basic rules about giving feedback that work for everyone, like being clear and helpful, how we give feedback can change depending on who we’re talking to. Studies show that children do best when feedback is right for their age, given in a nice and caring way, and said in words they get. For instance, teachers often use a “sandwich” approach, where constructive criticism is given between positive affirmations to maintain children’s confidence and motivation. But grown-ups might like feedback that’s straight to the point, focusing on what they need to do better. When rules are broken or behaviour is not great, giving feedback becomes even more important. It’s a chance to help children understand what went wrong and how they can do better next time. Just like with other feedback, it’s crucial to talk to them in a way they understand and to be supportive. Instead of just pointing out what they did wrong, it’s helpful to explain why it’s important to follow the rules and how their actions affect others.
Is it important to consider children’s emotions when we give feedback to them?
Certainly, considering children’s emotions when giving feedback is crucial for their overall well-being and learning experience. When emotions are not taken into account, several negative outcomes can happen. For example, if feedback is delivered insensitively or without acknowledging a child’s feelings, it may lead to lowered self-esteem, increased anxiety, or even resistance to feedback in the future. Children may feel discouraged or demotivated to learn if they perceive feedback as harsh or dismissive of their efforts. Additionally, feedback that ignores emotions may strain the relationship between the child and the educator or parent, creating barriers to open communication and trust.
On the other hand, when feedback is delivered with empathy and consideration for children’s emotions, it can yield numerous benefits. Firstly, it helps build a supportive and nurturing learning environment where children feel valued and respected. They are more likely to engage in reflective practices and take ownership of their learning journey when they feel emotionally supported.
Moreover, considering children’s emotions in feedback promotes their socioemotional development by teaching them to regulate their emotions and cope with challenges effectively. When feedback is delivered with care and empathy, it creates a sense of trust between children and adults, improving communication and collaboration in the learning process. Ultimately, feedback that acknowledges emotions encourages children to embrace mistakes as opportunities for growth and development, helping them to become resilient and confident learners.
How effective is feedback depending on whether we regard those ‘basic rules’ or not?
The way we give feedback, especially in private, really matters for both adults and children. Even though adults usually get feedback in private, it’s just as important for children. When feedback happens in public or without privacy, especially in school, it can make pupils feel embarrassed or ashamed, like everyone is watching them mess up. This feeling can stick around and make them not want to join class activities or try new things. Also, public feedback might make children scared to make mistakes, which are actually important for learning.
Public feedback doesn’t really focus on what each child needs. It’s like a one-size-fits-all approach, which might not help every kid. When feedback is private, it’s more personal and gives children a safe space to understand what they did and how they can do better. Private feedback lets them ask questions and get support without worrying about feeling embarrassed.
When adults, like teachers and parents, give feedback in private, it helps create a good learning environment. Children feel more comfortable engaging with feedback, taking charge of their learning, and trying to do better. So, keeping feedback private and respectful is essential because it shows children they’re valued and supported as they grow and learn.
Stone, D. (2002). Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work & in Life One Conversation at a Time. Viking Press.
Hattie, J., & Timperley, H. (2007). The Power of Feedback. Review of Educational Research, 77(1), 81–112.
Mr Sanchez Tutoring 